I was going to write a lengthy piece about how much of a waste of time this movie was, but I think this sums it up nicely:
It’s amazing that Kevin Hart has managed to stretch out his career the way he has. That is an impressive list of credits, because he is incredibly hard working. He is also funny (that does help).
I did not enjoy this movie. I do like Josh Gad, ever since I saw in him in the barely-watched sitcom Back to You (again, I really watched everything when I was in res).
This movie was not as funny as it could have been. Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting is a very one-note actress, and I’m super glad that Josh’s character ended up dumping her (I really can’t remember their character names, this movie was so forgettable).
The bromance between Josh and Kevin was sweet though, with a few genuinely funny moments in between. The dog prank was not one of them. I don’t want to link to it, but it is on YouTube. Ick.
I went to watch the latest instalment in the Fast & Furious franchise this weekend. We all know what we’re getting into when we go watch these things: laws of physics get ignored, Vin Diesel rambles on about family, and law enforcement is non-existent.
I’m going to put this out there: there was not enough Jason Statham in this movie.
At the end of Furious 6, when they (2 year old spoiler alert?) revealed that Jason was Shaw’s big bro and that he orchestrated Han’s death at the end of Tokyo Drift, the cinema was like yaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssss, this is what we need. So I was surprised to see that Jason actually did not have much screen time in the movie.
Yes, when he did appear, it was to completely annihilate his opponents, but still. The final fight scene between him and Vin was really anti-climatic because Jason can’t win, as he is the villain, but Vin can’t win either, because who can defeat Jason Statham in hand-to-hand combat? Chuck Norris, maybe?
They copped out by letting Vin destroy the ground beneath his feet in a building collapse which should surely have killed him. Just kidding, he’s safe as houses locked up by The Rock at a CIA black site under 38 feet of concrete. So I’m guessing we’ll see him in Furious 10: Revenge for Making Me Dig?
That’s another gripe I have: waaaay too little Dwayne Johnson. Just, really, a huge lack of Dwayne Johnson.
So for pretty much the whole movie, I was thinking, how are they going to write Paul Walker out? You could see the shots, particularly in scenes with Jordana Brewster, where they had used his brothers or other body doubles. You could also see sometimes where they had CGI’d his face in (there was a faint fuzzy glow around his head). Overall, they actually did a pretty good job.
They had a lot of close calls in the movie, so I just assumed that they would have Brian die while trying to save his friends, something heroic like that. I’m glad that it ended the way it did, with Brian retiring from the F&F life to look after his expanding family. That bit at the end with the one last ride was short & sweet, but extremely emotional.
I’ve always liked Jake Gyllenhaal. I have no idea why.
I watched The Day After Tomorrow obsessively when it came out. It was one of the contributing factors to me getting interested in Climatology, enjoying Geography more, applying for EGS at UCT and ending up at Stellenbosch doing GIS. So yes, Jake Gyllenhaal is partly responsible for why I am doing what I am doing. Again, I have no idea why I like him.
That is what a sociopath looks like. This is some next level, crazy stuff. The movie itself is pretty good, but the way Jake brought the character to life is mind blowing.
Why are there all these memes about crying during this movie? It was awesome. Those graphics were amazing. Not too sure if it was 55 000 cores of amazing though, but still, really cool.
I also enjoyed the whole East/West vibe that is going on in San Fransokyo.
A lot of people seem to be fixating on one particular aspect of the movie:
That’s understandable. And yes, we can go beyond the obvious “He shouldn’t have lost his mind because of a dog” because some people, you know, actually love their pets, and more importantly, his dead wife gave it to him in lieu of the child they would now never be able to have because she died.
What I think people are missing is the fact that this was a stupid attempt at a business transaction gone wrong. The boy made him an offer to buy his car. Clearly, the car was not for sale; John was not advertising the car for sale, and he quite politely declined the offer as, again, the car was not advertised for sale in any way. Imagine if you went up to a rando at the garage and offered to buy their car. At best, you would get a confused “Waah?” At worst, you would be sworn out.
This leads me to my only issue with this movie (since everything else is clearly awesome): How did the kid not know who he was? Yes, John had gotten out of the mob or whatever 5 years prior, so maybe one could reasonably assume the kid was too young to know him. Or maybe his father only involved him in the superficial bad guy stuff, and not the intense stuff John was into.
Why, then, did his bodyguards not know? Surely, once John was released, the mob boss would have informed everyone that John was off limits. His bodyguards should have been aware of who he was. How did they find out where he lived without knowing that? Maybe they followed him home from the garage. Why would John not notice that? Maybe he was too far into his depro zone to notice. How did they get into the house so easily? Maybe John thought no one would be stupid enough to mess with him.
I think I’ve made my point. Probably. To end off, let’s listen to the sound track of a killing spree: