Finding the balance: Mind

When I started my epic revamp 2 years ago, I was working on finding my balance between work, health, studies and mind. By the end of it, my health was excellent, I got a new job which was a big promotion, and I started doing my Hons after having to wait 5 years.

I did not realise the state that my mind was in though. Some events happened late last year, which took its toll on my body as well, which is why the husband and I have had to embark on a new Regimen. 

This time around, I’m focusing on balancing mind, body, and soul. One’s mental health has a much bigger impact than people tend to realise on  body and soul. For me, getting my mental health in order has taken priority over the last while.

Which is why I’ve decided that I am quitting my studies. I’m only 6 months away from finishing, on track for cum laude, but I’ve weighed up the pros and cons and decided it’s no longer worth it. 

I’ve been learning to let things go. I’ve realised that I’m actually not the uptight person I was led to believe I was. I no longer allow the sunk-cost fallacy to keep me trapped in a situation that is not good for me. 

My husband and I spent many years of our relationship as a long-distance couple, because of the small-mindedness, hypocrisy and intolerance of people who are no longer in our lives. Our mental health suffered greatly because of it, and we missed out on many great experiences because of it. 

As a result, I cannot tolerate the wasting of time. For too long my time was dictated by others (whether directly or indirectly). Now that my mind is aware of the damage done and the time wasted, I am done.

I refuse to waste more time on a degree that will not let me upgrade my professional registration, and that will have no impact on my career. I am well established in my field, and no longer require a piece of paper to prove what I know. 

The old Cindy would never have done this. I always saw things through, no matter what. However, life is short. I could be learning things I actually want to through moocs, I could be drafting the designs for our bathroom makeover, I could be working on our smart home, I could be lying on the floor with a glass of wine and playing with my cattens. All of these things would be a better use of my time.


Kaiju is 1 today!

The first of the cattens to officially become a Cat! She’s only been part of the family for 2 months, but she sleeps on my leg every night and shadows me around the house in the morning. 

I’ll post better pics when I write the posts about each catten (yes they’ll each get their own post because I’m a crazy cat lady now and I own it.) 


Trying out new things: Wine

The experience: The concept of drinking Wine

The location: All over the show

The situation: I’ve been neglecting the blog recently due to reasons and stuff, so now I’m going through all of my draft posts to see if there is anything still of relevance before moving onto new posts. This post was drafted on 11 Feb 2017, so I feel like a lot has changed since I was going to start writing it.

I guess Wine is not a new thing to me anymore, because I tried it out, and it’s awesome. It’s all about how you approach the concept – once I removed the shackles from my mind (and the burdens of the past), I could experience and appreciate Wine for what it is – something that you drink. Nothing more, nothing less.

The test: I’ve tried enough low – high-end whites, and low – mid-end reds, at home and in restaurants.

The analysis: Through trial and error (and a lot of bottles ending up as cooking wine), I chose my house wine, which is the wine I keep in the house at all times. It’s perfect for that evening “Aaaaaah” after a long day at work, with enough of a buzz to keep one relaxed, but not enough to get you drunk. Initially, this wine would make me drunk, but then again, cough syrup would have made me drunk at the beginning.

The verdict: I’m a red person. When we go out to eat at Restaurants (capitalised purposely, more on that later), I’ve made it a habit to order a different glass of red every time, in order to “expand my palate” or something. The only thing I won’t do is go wine tasting. Mainly because the hubby is not into drinking (I just think it’s because he hasn’t found his tipple of choice yet), but also because we both have a negative association with it. I prefer my methods of finding new wines anyway.

Image result for wine meme


RIP Chester ♥

I’ve written about my relationship with Linkin Park before, but never really in detail. I had a super long post planned about the impact that Linkin Park has had on my life, mainly because of Chester. His songs have taken on new meaning to me in the last few months, although I did basically ignore their new album (not my taste, and Lord knows I’ve expanded my music tastes over the last 2 years).

I’ve thought about writing this post all day, but as I sit here now, after reading a bunch of articles and thinkpieces about what happened, I don’t really have anything to say. Except I’ll keep listening to all my favourite songs, and some of the others too, just as I have for the last 15 years. Depression is a bitch. I’m sad for what has happened, and for his family, but I’m also happy that Chester is finally at peace. ♥

Official Linkin Park Facebook cover photo today. Beautiful.


Lifehack for swallowing pills: Tried and confirmed

Today I tested out a lifehack for swallowing capsules. While I normally have no problem swallowing capsules, I’m always open to new/better ways of doing things. In keeping with my philosophy of questioning everything, I no longer just assume that the way I’ve always done something is the best way, or even the right way.

So it’s pretty cool that this trick worked. Put the capsules in your mouth, take a sip of water, tilt your head forward then back. The capsules will rise to the top of the water (in your mouth) and then tip down your throat automatically. Nice!


RIP Chris

So I haven’t posted on the blog in 2 months now. I have thought about it – there’s actually a bunch of stuff I’ve wanted to write about, like installing a Telkom landline (something I said I would need to swallow my pride to do), the 5 kittens we adopted (perhaps a post series is required for that), an update on my budgies, some movie reviews, how much I want to be friends with Keanu Reeves etc…

I haven’t done any of that though. But today, as I prepare for the memorial of a dear colleague, I’ve been thinking. Over the last few months, I’ve been steadily growing my FOC. I’ve been reconnecting with people who I thought were gone from my life. I’ve been redefining my relationships with others.

Since my return to Aurecon, I’ve been going through this process with my former colleagues. I’m at various stages in the process with all of them.

I’m not one for hyperbole (about people at least), but Chris was the most chilled guy around. No matter how hectic things got on projects (all the time, for every single project), he’d be like “Oh well” and get down to work. When I was losing weight during my epic revamp (the first time around), I would chat with Chris frequently about my boxing regimen. He would give me advice about techniques (he used to box at a club) and methods to maximise my calorie burn during an exercise session. I incorporated his tips into my routine when I was stuck in a plateau, and it made a big difference.

He was always willing to teach, and was always so patient – when I was starting to dabble in web development, he showed me a few things (before I went (temporarily) down a different path). After his baba was born, he’d deliver me regular photo updates, because that baby is soooo beautiful. He also got me into rap music (for a little while anyway). I’ve since compromised by no longer just putting it off, and listening to loads of EDM rap mixes.

He will be missed.