Today my husband and I picked up the ashes of our sweet baby girl. The stabbing pain in my chest is starting to give way to a large hole.
Last week, I planned on (finally) starting my post series about all of our cattens, how we came to adopt them and our ongoing relationship with the Animal Welfare Society in Stellenbosch. I did not think that I would instead be dealing with the passing of my sweet angel.
I would like to write a long post about her, and post the hundreds of photos and videos we took of her in the short time she was with us, but my mental and emotional health has improved enough in the past year to know that I am not ready to do that.
I’m taking a break from everything for a while – Facebook, blogging etc. My husband and I are focussing on getting our health back in order (physical, emotional, mental, financial etc). We were already on that path but this loss has made us even more determined.We lost a lot of time and opportunities in our lives due to other people’s fuckery, and we refuse to lose any more. I put my life on hold last year to heal from what happened to me, but that’s not really how healing works (duh). We want to move on and be happy with the little family we’ve created.
I don’t think we will ever have a sweeter kitty than Kagura. Below is the last photo I have of her, 2 days before she disappeared and 4 days before our neighbour found her body. She would sit next to me in bed and purr like a truck.